Certainly Uncertain
by FreeElf18411
Summary: This is the story of the First Wizarding War. It changed all of us in different ways, but change us it did. Watch as we try to grow, change and love at a time where fear is the word of the day, and the fate of our world is uncertain. Rated M for language.


**Chapter One: Scarlet Dream Engine**

 _A.N: I do not own any of the material you recognise, all rights go to JK Rowling. It's her world, I just play in it._

 _Okay, So here's my attempt at a Marauders era fic. Hope you all enjoy it, it will hopefully be at least a little funny, but it will also span throughout the rise of Voldemort up until that fateful night at Godric's Hollow so things will get dark in places. However I do try to avoid angst where I can. That being said, on with the story!_

"Tuney, where's my peach lipstick? I know you have it, I seen you wearing it last week when you went out to dinner with that no neck walrus you call your fiancé!"

The older blonde girl turned her nose up indignantly, bony arms crossed her chest. She raised one perfectly manicured eyebrow before she issued her prickly reply.

"As if I would touch anything that had been near your filthy mouth you disgusting freak. And don't you _dare_ talk about Vernon that way. He's ten times the person you'll ever be, at least he's not an abhorrent crime against nature like you."

Lily winced inwardly, she should be used to this by now, but every time it was like a tiny stab in the gut. In all fairness, she did pick the fight this time, and could certainly give as good as she got.

"Now now Tuney, no need to get testy. You have more than enough neck for the both of you. And I don't doubt it to be honest, he's ten times the person _most_ people will ever be, it's a wonder he's never snapped your bony arse in half. Now, I know you have my lipstick you horse-faced bitch, so you better give it back before I hex you into next Tuesday!"

Lily was just aiming to be hurtful now. She had spent years trying to get her older sister to love her back, only to be met with hatred, judgement and jealousy. The joyful summers of her childhood were long over, they ended the day she got her Hogwarts letter, and they took her relationship with her sister along with them. Now their interactions fluctuated between downright spiteful and completely void of any emotion at all. Lily used to love being at home with her parents , but now all she felt was guilt and shame, and the suffocating weight of her sister's disapproval pressing down on her. And she was sick of it. This summer had been the worst yet. Ever since Petunia had met that cretin Vernon Dursley, she had become even more intolerant and cold, and that had grated on Lily's nerves.

Anyone who knew Lily knew about her temper, and so these past two months had been explosive to say the least. Screaming, fighting and cursing had become a commonplace within the Evans household. The redhead always felt a horrible twinge of guilt after she and her sister fought, made worse every time she saw the look of pain in her mother's eyes deepen with each insult hurled between the two . She was so sick of hurting everyone around her, even her sister. She might have been a horrible shrew now, but they had been so very close once, and she still hated hurting her.

This is why Lily Cecelia Evans could not wait to go back to school in two days time. There she felt safe to be who she was without being judged or criticised. There she had friends, real true friends who cared about her, and made her feel grounded. It made her heart ache that she could relate to them more than she could her own family, but this is how it had been for the past six years.

Lily was pulled from her melancholic thoughts when something small and plastic hit her square in the face.

"Here, have your lipstick back you selfish little cow. For all the good it will do you."

Lily scowled and rubbed her stinging eye socket. She stared at the pinched, perfectly made up face of her older sister and saw the ugly jealousy eating away at her inside. This was the first time all summer she had truly looked at her sister, and she saw the misery and pain there. Lily's face softened then, as she reached a decision.

"Pet?" she started quietly, using an old nickname from their childhood. Petunia pointedly ignored it, but Lily could see that she was listening.

"Tuney, I know how much you hate me. I know that me being here makes life difficult for you and I never wanted that. I wish I could change how you feel. I wish I could make you love me , make you accept who I am but I can't, and I'm sick of fighting. So I'm not going to do it any more. I don't want to make you or mum or dad miserable.

So that's why, when I leave for Hogwarts this year, I won't come back. I'll get my own place, and I'll meet up with mum somewhere in between the two when I want to see her or dad.

I hope that one day things will be better between us. That one day you can forgive me for being who I am, but until then hopefully this will make it easier."

Lily was crying by the end of her little speech, knowing from the second that she had started speaking that she was making the right decision, but mourning for the relationship she should have had with the woman in front if her.

Petunia only nodded, seemingly indifferent. She turned to leave, stopping dead just short of the bedroom door before turning around swiftly and doing the single last thing her younger sister ever expected – she ran to her and swept her up in a brief, bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you Lily – I'm sorry I can't let it go. I do love you, I'll try to work on it. Promise"

Lily was shell-shocked, she had been expecting at most cold acceptance. Her very presence these past six years must have weighed more heavily on her sister than she thought.

Petunia gathered herself before she turned and shuffled out of the room quickly, perfectly coiffed hair bouncing behind her, a noticeable spring in her step.

Apparently the prospect of having her younger sister effectively out of her life had put her in a fantastic mood.

Lily couldn't help but feel a little hurt by that, but at least two days from now none of that would matter. She would truly be home.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped through the barrier at King's Cross station, she felt a stillness and contentment take root inside her as she took in the familiar sight of the scarlet steam engine that would carry her home. She had always loved the Hogwarts Express, to her it represented all the untapped potential and dreams and optimism of the children it carried inside. To her, that feeling of hope a single train could embody was almost more magical than anything she could learn in class.

She looked at all of the children buzzing with excitement , trying to pry themselves away from fussing parents, eyes searching the platform for their friends, desperate to dissect every detail of each others summers. It brought a smile to her face at the same time as it saddened her. This would be the last time she would take the long journey up to Scotland, and after this year she would be all on her own. The uncertainty of it all frightened her, and she wished that she could just stay in this moment for a little longer.

Apparently though, this was not to be. Before she could even finish her last thought she was almost barrelled over by a five foot nothing ball of energy who had, true to form, tripped over her own feet and landed in the arms of her best friend.

"Really Allie? You've been here all of thirty seconds and already you're causing havoc. That's got to be some kind of record" came an easy, familiar laugh from behind her.

"Not even close. How could you forget the time she fell through the barrier, knocked herself out and left her feet on the other side. That poor Muggle woman got such a fright, they had to call the Obliviators out" replied Lily , giggling at the pout on Alice's face.

"Ah, okay, you've got me there." Frank conceded with a grin, before moving to wrap his arm around his much smaller , very annoyed girlfriend.

"Not fair. You guys know that Fabian pushed me!" She huffed, crossing her arms , looking very much like a spoilt toddler.

"We know, it was still hilarious" Lily smiled unapologetically.

"That's it, I'm going to find a new best friend, you're officially fired"

she began to flounce away dramatically, the effect somewhat dampened by the fact that she walked directly into a terrified first year , knocking his chocolate frog right of his hand.

"Oh my gosh I am so sorry!" she exclaimed loudly, eyes wide.

The boy just scuttled onto the train , too shocked by the unprovoked attack to stay and listen to Alice's hurried apologies.

She turned sheepishly back towards Frank and Lily, shrugging her shoulders wordlessly.

"See Allie, this is why you need me. Can't leave you alone for a second, the whole school would fall apart before the welcome feast was over"

Alice smiled then, before rushing over to hug the redhead properly for the first time in two months.

"Okay, I suppose I'll keep you around then"

The three then headed towards the train to find a compartment before they were all taken. Lily was exceptionally glad to see her tiny, exuberant best friend.

All the insecurity she felt just moments before fell away. She knew that with friend like these on her

side, she would be okay.

"James mate, c'mon it'll be fun! We haven't had a chance to prank Snivelly in months, please?" Sirius whined, prodding his friends shoulder relentlessly.

"No Padfoot, I can't , I told you. It's my last year to make an impression on Lily, and you know she hates that stuff. Besides, I'm Head Boy. I can't go around terrorizing people on the train, Minnie will have my badge before we even step foot inside the castle"

James sighed, when had he become the mature one in this operation?

"Oh, I see how it is" Sirius pouted. " He gets a badge and all of a sudden there's no time for us Marauders and our lowly pranks"

Remus shook his head at his best friends' antics. Personally, he welcomed this unexpected change in attitude but knowing James like he did, had his doubts about how long it would last.

"Leave him be Padfoot, you know there's no talking to him when it comes to his quest to get his dear Lily Flower and make lots of little Prongslets" Peter chimed in, a teasing smile on his face.

"I called her that one time in second year, will you ever let that go?" James scowled

"Never" replied the other three boys in unison.

"Besides, at his point I would settle for her calling me by my first name" he sighed.

"And Pads, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying that the pranking has to be a bit more... sneaky and underhanded this year" he finished, flashing his best mate a mischievous grin.

Remus snickered then. He knew that wouldn't last long. Twenty three minutes to be precise. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

Sirius' eyes lit up then, Remus could almost see the ideas swimming before them, all fighting for his full attention.

"Ah, so we channel our inner Slytherin" he nodded in understanding.

"Exactly" James agreed.

"Okay, now that's taken care of, lets talk semantics" said Pete, excited as ever to be a part of their band of four.

"Wormtail, you truly are a man after my own heart" Sirius smiled contentedly.

Remus shook his head once more, before grabbing his charms book and resolving not to get involved this time. That lasted for an even shorter time than James' short lived bout of maturity.

"So Dory, tell us about this years summer fling" Marley asked excitedly, Dorcas Meadowes always had the best stories, and because she was such a romantic, they were always told so beautifully.

"His name was Marcus" she started dramatically. "he was a Muggle, we met by the pool, six foot two, sandy blonde hair and eyes to die for. And that's just his face, his body was..."

Mary sighed happily, talking to Dory was like getting lost in one of Lily's romance novels. She wished that she was as free spirited as her friend, but every time she would get in front of a person she considered even mildly fanciable , she would blush to her roots, and words would suddenly escape her. It was beyond embarrassing.

"...But alas, it was not meant to be. Our romance was short lived, it burned bright and hot and fast, and left it's impression etched upon my heart forever more."

Amelia rolled her eyes at this "Okay, someone needs to keep Lily's Mills and Boons away from Dory. You do know they're just stories? Not an instruction manual to live your life by"

"Hey! I don't ha-" started Lily, but she was interrupted by Mary

Mary scolded her friend "Don't be unkind Amy, She's just looking for Mr. Right, not all of us can share your cynical view of the world"

"No . It's okay Mary, I know it comes from a place of love. How about we make a deal? I promise to put down Lily's sex books if you promise to pick a few up." Dorcas grinned devilishly at the dark haired beauty in front of her

"I don't know where you get your intel from, but you have been sadly misinf-" Lily started again, her voice rising indignantly as her face began to heat up.

"Save it Lily, we know about the so called secret compartment in your trunk. We've been passing those books around the five of us since fifth year" Alice quipped casually.

"They're actually quite good" Dorcas chimed in merrily.

"I think they're ridiculous" stated Amy plainly.

"I think you protest too much" laughed Marlene.

"I think you are all infuriating!" snapped Lilly, exhaling angrily.

"Aw Lily, don't be mad, we all like them" said Mary gently, ever the mediator between her friends.

"Yeah, they're funny" added Marlene.

Apparently this had been the wrong thing to say because the next thing they all knew Lily had gotten up, ready to storm out of the compartment.

"Whatever. I have to go to and set up for the prefects meeting" Lily was embarrassed, and extremely pissed . She knew that her friends were only teasing , but after spending the whole summer with Petunia, she was in no mood to be picked on again.

"Lils, we're sorry, please sit down, we want to hear about your summer" Dorcas offered kindly. She hated to see anyone upset, she especially hated to be the cause of it.

Lily responded with a tight smile before insisting that she had to go and set up the meeting anyway, and reassuring her friends that she would be as quick as she possible could.

"I'm surprised you're so eager to get down there" Marlene said questioningly "considering it means being alone with a certain Gryffindor troublemaker for a time"

Lily looked at her blankly.

"You know, the Head Boy?" she continued. Again she was met with confused silence.

"James Potter?" she finished weakly. She had assumed that Lily would already have known, and she really didn't want to be the messenger – with Lily's temperament she was likely to get shot.

Lily's mouth was opening and closing quickly, her face turning a dangerous shade of maroon.

"I think she's having a fit" whispered Alice, "Should we do something?"

Then Lily exploded.

"WHAAAAAAT? JAMES BLOODY EFFING POTTER. HEAD PISSING BOY? WHAT ON EARTH IS DUMBLEDORE THINKING, THE MAN MUST BE GOING SENILE! MARLENE HOW IS IT THAT YOU WAITED HIS LONG TO..."

Lily continued in this vein for a solid ten minutes, her friends just letting her get it all out. They would expect nothing less.

Mary and Dorcas started up a game of exploding snap, while Alice pulled out her copy of _Witch Weekly_ and Amelia filed her nails. They left Marlene to Lily's wrath.

As the angry redhead began to run out of steam, they all shared a knowing look. This year would be an interesting one, that was for sure.

 _A/N: So there it is. This chapter was mainly to introduce you to some of the major characters. Let me know what you guys think!_


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